


Nervous

by moonlight_jukebox



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:07:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26426863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlight_jukebox/pseuds/moonlight_jukebox
Summary: Spencer Reid has fallen in love with Reader…but he needs to tell her something about himself that he’s never told anyone before.
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Reader, Spencer Reid/You
Comments: 2
Kudos: 96





	Nervous

**Author's Note:**

> A short fic I wrote for a coming out request on Tumblr.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always had the habit of getting nervous at the strangest of times.

I was never nervous when I was on a case with my team, I was never nervous before I had to take any sort of test when I was younger, and I was never really very nervous to speak in front of large crowds.

I shouldn’t be nervous now; it didn’t make any logical sense. I had been with y/n for several months now…103 days, to be precise. She hadn’t said it yet…but I _felt_ like she loved me. I hadn’t said it to her either, another thing I was way too nervous about.

Before I had officially met y/n, I had noticed her. She seemed to radiate this energy that had captivated me from the very first moment. She was a magical creature that shouldn’t exist in my world, but I was so very glad she did.

I was terrified to ask her out that very first time. I stumbled over my words and rambled on endlessly about topics that were not even related to the Edgar Allan Poe theater production I was trying to invite her to. She’d just smiled the entire time, color flushing into her cheeks.

“I’d love to go with you, Spencer. If you’re asking…” she had said, twisting her fingers while she spoke. It was odd to me that such a beautiful woman would even _want_ to spend time with me. While y/n was beautiful, my favorite thing about her was how unfailingly kind she was. She always spoke to waiters in restaurants, and she really listened to them when they talked. She had this way of making people feel special without even trying.

Because I knew her to be such a kind and gentle person, I knew she would be understanding of the secret I had to tell her. It’s just that I had _never_ told anyone before. Not even Maeve in our letters. It was a part of myself I had always kept so private…I wasn’t ashamed, really. I was just…nervous.

“What’s wrong, Spence?” y/n asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

I cleared my throat. “Oh, um, nothing. I was just thinking.”

The smile she directed at me warmed me like the sun. “You’re always thinking, Dr. Reid. But you looked like you were thinking mighty hard just then.”

On this rare evening I had off, I had invited y/n over to my house for dinner. We ordered takeout and were watching Halloween movies, even though my favorite holiday was months away.

My girl always said, “Halloween is a state of mind, Spence.”

I shifted in my seat, my hands fisting against my thighs. “Okay,” I muttered. “I have something I wanted to talk to you about.”

She was sitting on the couch beside me, but she turned her body to face me, bringing her legs up to crisscross in front of her. Her face was so open…her face was everything I ever wanted. “What’s up, bug?”

I worried my bottom lip between my teeth. “Well…we’ve been together for…”

“103 days,” she supplied.

“I love you.”

She blinked her gorgeous eyes at me, slightly bewildered, but a smile was spreading over her face. “What?”

“I love you. That wasn’t what I had to talk to you about,” I rambled out. “But you know the exact number of days and you make me so happy. Happier than anything else. I could write a book about how you light up my entire world and still never come close to how I feel about you.”

“Spence,” her voice was soft when she reached out to grasp both of my hands. “I love you too. So much. You’re…you’re everything, Spencer Reid.”

I wanted to kiss her then, more than I had ever wanted anything in the entire world. “I…I want to tell you something else. Something I’ve never told anyone. But…you mean-you mean so much to me. I don’t want to have any sort of secret with you.”

Her curious expression made sense. I had already told her about my past relationships, my family, and my problem with dilaudid. “I don’t want to have any secrets from you either, Spence.” She gave my hands a squeeze. “If it helps, there’s an 87% chance I’ll still love you no matter what you tell me.”

A laugh bubbled out of my throat. “87%? Where did you get that number?”

She scowled at me. “Out with it!”

I swallowed thickly. “Well…I love you. And you’re the only person I want to be with. But…I’m not…in the past…” I looked at her face, scanning every inch of it for any sort of micro expression that could give away how she was feeling. “I’ve…I’ve dated men in the past.” I let out a deep breath. “I’m attracted…to men. And women.”

Her brows creased in confusion. “This is what you were afraid to tell me?”

I nodded, my head dropping slightly.

“Spencer,” she said quietly, her hands releasing mine only to come up to cup my jaw. Her thumb caressed my cheek. “I’m so happy you felt comfortable enough to tell me. Especially if I’m the first person you’ve ever come out to.”

“You don’t care?”

"Well, of course, I care, Spence. But I care about it because I care about you. It's a part of your identity. Everything about you matters to me."

My heart swelled inside of my chest. “I care about you too. And I…I don’t know what to say.” I huffed out a soft laugh. I had been so worried about this moment that I never really planned for what came after.

"Listen, Spencer," she whispered, pulling my attention back to her. "I…well, I feel bad about this now. I don't…my sexual identity is a huge part of who I am, but I never really come out anymore. I don't believe that sexuality has to have labels, but I identify as bisexual. I've had relationships with both men and women." She bit her lip, her hands dropping from my face. "I don't know why I didn't tell you…but-“

I reached for her before I even realized what I was doing. My hands found her soft face right before my mouth sealed against hers. She was sweetness, kindness, and so much better than I felt like I deserved. “I love you,” I murmured against her lips before pulling away. “I’ve never…thought about a label for my sexuality. But…I think I’m bisexual too.”

Y/n’s smile was so soft, so tender. She reached out and tapped her finger against the tip of my nose. “Then we can just be two bisexual people who are madly in love with each other. Does that sound good to you, Dr. Reid?”

Just like everything about her, that idea was perfect to me too.


End file.
